Step mummas!

Up to my mums this weekend, spending time with my little girl. Suppose I’m kind off excited, nervous, scared pretty much every emotion that’s possible. If we don’t spend time with each other I suppose we’re be fine and on the plus side my sisters coming as well and she hates the ‘evil’ step mum more than me so It’s cool but then again I don’t want things to be bad. On Sunday its going to be a year since we last saw our dad, but I don’t really want to go into that, right now. Maybe on a later date.

I’ve bought everyone a little present nothing special, bought my step brothers some food, lol a safe option for 3 boys, my full brother, a new game for the Wii, My step mum some flowers and chocolates, writing that it sounds romantic flowers and chocolates, I’m going to eat the chocolates though, My sister a dress from newlook and Rebecca some summer cloths, thinking about it I should of really thought through the summer cloths its been raining for a week And my dad a lantern to put on his grave.

Anyhow just a short update on life.

Rebecca – Is going to nursery 2 ½ days a week still but at a different nursery this one is a bit bigger but all the girls are lovely. Only thing its £68 a day, so we try and keep it to a minume.  There are more expensive ones and cheaper ones don’t get me wrong but it’s where ever you feel your child can grow, enjoy going each day and safety. She’s walking around and generally happy baby! Always got a big grin on her face.

Rebecca’s daddy - Her father is getting back into her life a little more I guess, however he keeps accusing me off taking drugs when I haven’t touched any which is pretty rich coming from him… He doesn’t work, go to college or is even bothered to get a job and support his daughter until he steps up I don’t really see him being the father figure in her life. He sends texts every day to me pretty much asking how we both are but then again that could just be so that I actually talk to him, we haven’t spoken on the phone just through texting.

Me – I suppose a few things have changed I’m back into home tuition the joys, it could be worse though. Just preparing for exams which I don’t really have much confidence in; if I say myself I’ll be lucky to get a ‘C’ I haven’t put my all into the exams my belief is that I got a job, I’m making more than any of the teachers, I don’t want to go to college, I don’t want to go UNI, I just want to start my own business with my family backing and help children/teenagers who have been through hard times in their life that’s my aim for 5 years’ time. Watch this space. Ha-ha.

Take care everyone

Love

Jess & Rebecca & Samual. <3 

looking for places to move too is stressful

Its been that we would move away when im 16. Sitting here last year planning on where and how we wanted it to be. Even looking at furniture for our house/flat but now its pretty much 3 months to my birthday its become even more stressful; estate agents just don't have anything which we both agree on. In some way i feel like i owe Sam to actually choose on what the place looks like with him moving away from where he has always lived, his friends and family. Him going back to college and me working; its not exactly going to be ideal for one or two years. Him being 19 when we actually move just seems like im taking away his years from him, but then again he's different from other boys, he doesn't feel the need to go out drinking/clubbing he doesn't really follow a crowd like most boys what seems to be these days to shag as many girls as possible. He respects girls. Most people are calling us dumb to actually go rent a house/flat but then they don't know we can't physically be together any possible way, his parents don't like girls around there house and Dan's house has never been permanent only been a short time soulition, we know about the bills- gas, electric,water,insurance and everything else, things will be tight theres no point in denying that.

We've looked around 6 properties in London and several which have connecting rail line to London as that's where my work is. However everything we seem to view just either seems too small or too large for what we're looking for (also one in a horrible area). I viewed a 4 bedroom new build house today, quite exicted in the price range, connecting rail line to london, got there the first room the agent showed me was the kitchen which was huge, which had been refurbished recently and built in fridge freezer, then she showed me the garden which for a new build was decent and had a patio, then the study,dinning/play room, then the living room it was small compared to the kitchen but was fine it could fit a sofa and tv in. We went upstairs she showed me the master room which had a en-suit - the room looked lovely then i went into the master room the paper onto of the shower was basically peeling off and moss growing on the tiles and not to mention the 1800's plastic sink, i carried on looking around so she took me into a tiny box room what could barely fit a bed which had damp in the corner when i pointed it out to the agent she said the landlords will look into that. Carried on looking around into anther room which was claimed as a 'suit' walked in there was a random door a tiny room with a mirror in and straight through was bedroom with anther en-suit suffering from the same problem the last room what was a good single was once again had the same problems. I left and told the agent ill get back to her. We would most likely off rented that as it was available from the time we would start getting furniture if it was a few hundred cheaper and suffering from damp. Anyhow thought ill give you an insight.

Everything else in life seems too be good looking foward to spending tomorrow with Rebecca and seeing Sam Friday. Hope everyone is well.

Love
Jess, Sam & Rebecca

thought i'd actually update this blog!!

well where do i start!
thing are pretty sweet at the moment everything seems to be falling into the place but this is life things can go great for 10 weeks then go crap for 20 weeks.
I don't really use the computure much any-more hence why i don't update my blogs. My phone does it all! I have twitter and Facebook for people who I have met on-line. The Facebook includes pictures of Rebecca and myself and when i get to know you or if i already know you ill change the settings so you can see.
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002861971125
Twitter - https://twitter.com/#!/Jessicaaa_Ox3

if you want to talk more and see pictures blah blah.

Road up to my step mothers looks peaceful had to get a picture.

the dogs i looked after!

New blog

- follow -

fakeloverealtears.blogspot.com

Moving on...

its been other a month or two since ive posted so here i'am again. Hello. Well alot has changed within the last month not going into detail as i dont have to tell anyone not if i dont want too; its just kept beetween family lets keep it as that i dont want the whole world knowing.
So as some of you know im finally accepting help and moving on; other this month ive learnt alot about myself and the way i handle things. Suppose im learning, i got my friends back in my life and when im out of here which will be when at the start of april (depending on behaviour ect ect...) ill be hoping to move in with my older sister in London then when im 16 im moving out of hers and getting a place down south with my friends Katie & Rosie & Rebecca, i still got a long way to go but ill get there in time.

Most weekends before this year i was out getting shit faced but now its nice to wake up feeling fresh.. when im out of here im not saying im never going to drink again because thats not true im 15 nearly 16 we dont exactly go out to a party with fizzy pop... Really? ( well some people do but yeah thats not where ive been bought up) ill just be more senisable with my drink and not get into fights or hit anyone well thats the plan; wether it will work im not sure, lets just set too one weekend each month.

Anyways if anyone has any contact with Jordan can you get her to get in contact with me because i got the details for my account for her.

Anyways bye.

Last update before christmas.

christmas is nearly here wahoo.
to be honest this year im not exicted at all nor was i last year. i suppose everything has changed this year i won't be celbrating christmas with my dad. Social services won't let me stay at my mums although i think im old enough to make that deccision but apparently not. But i suppose i got my step family & rebecca. Sams going home for christmas... buts going to pop over in the evening, maybe.

Plus christmas is too expensive all the little bits have added up & Rebeccas birthday cost more than expected...but my family payed some of that for me; most of it was down through favours; my brother got a few chefs down from his work, my other brother managed to get a bouncy castle & fire wood through favours again but the cake and stuff i suppose i could of got that made by my brother being a chef an all but i wanted a specail one; suppose i should learn not to be so fussy but i wanted the best; then i had to give sam petrol money as he drove 25miles to get a cake well he said he didn't want petrol money but i made him take it as overwise it will just be like im using him... which im not. Thenn for christmas i planned on spending £30 on my family members £20 on friends and £200 on Rebecca; most of the budgets trippled once a again buy just buying stuff and forgeting i got them stuff. Well there have alot for christmas.... Anyways i went out today stopped at garage to get some munchies, my first card declined, then my second card declined; so i was just standing there akwardly. So i left that stuff. Got home checked my account and have £0.32p to my name. Luckly my manger is paying me half my wages tomorrow in cash so we'll survive.

im too tired to right the rest.

She's 1!!

Today it's a year since I had Rebecca wow how things have changed can
Really write much today as I'm on
My phone but will be posting pictures in a few days and emailing some pictures of Rebecca and friends :)